Futurist(Mom)

Another episode of the Femme Futurist Podcast.

Again, this podcast that I've been so excited to share with the world for so long.

And to help me dive in, I'm thrilled to introduce to you one of my favorite, what we call Piners people.

You need to know my friend Dr. Katie Pritt, a leading organizational strategist, transformational coach, learning and development researcher and wife and mom to an 8-year-old thriving son who's navigating the demands of second grade.

So with that, say, welcome, Katie for jumping in with us.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Thank you, Nancy.

Thank you, so much for having me.

You know, I always think a lot about you know, the changes in,

in, in seasons and changes in our lives.

I'm trying to imagine

like, you know, and it always has brought

so to fore when you think about your child going into a new grade

every single year.

So, as you now have been, you know, I think you're heading to a parent teacher conference this

afternoon, right?

So

I get to jump in.

So how's it going so far for Lincoln as he figures out second grade?

Dr. Katie Pritchett: You know, I don't know when it's gonna stop surprising me, Nancy, but every grade, every year, every era is different.

Like, you know, it's I joked with a neighbor who has a newborn and I said, you know, they're gonna change right.

When you've got it figured out, And it's like, okay, once you were like, oh, we're finally in this routine.

I know how to anticipate what's coming.

That's when they're gonna change.

And let me tell you, I feel a huge difference between second grade and first grade.

Wow.

See, yeah.

That just is, that's a perfect setup for

this conversation about

what it means to be both a futurist and a mom, right?

Seeing that

like, you know, you're professionally oriented to help organizations and teams and

leaders navigate change.

You've studied it, you've really prepared for it.

So when we describe this moment of time that we're in now and how may be different than it was even five years ago, I use the term the liminal gap.

Right?

And you've embraced that term too.

Do you wanna help us describe what the liminal gap is as you share it?

Dr. Katie Pritchett: I have, and I remember hearing you talk about the liminal gap on a stage at a conference, and you gave words to what I do.

Professionally.

So just a little bit of background, full-time profe.

I was a full-time professor,

At a high ranked university, taught business to undergrads, MBAs and executives, and then went into corporate and then have my own coaching and consulting practice.

But across all of that, what I do, the th the through line is change leadership, change it.

I call it, I'm a transformation coach.

And what you did was give language to what it.

Feels like when what was no longer is, but what will be is no longer yet, and

Or not quite yet.

Yeah.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Not quite yet.

And you gave language to that on a stage where I think I've told you this before, I kept leaning forward and forward to the point where I was gonna fall outta my chair and I couldn't help but go up to you after.

And I just really appreciated you being able to give some language.

And so you're right, I have absolutely adopted that phrase, and it makes so much sense to describe what it feels like in the Valley of Change

Right, and I think the.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: parent and at work.

Well, that's what I say as a human right.

All of us are navigating this moment in time.

And so the way I describe it right, is like I have this visual that talks about old systems breaking down.

And to your point, the new system's not yet to be created and they're not gonna look the same.

They're gonna have a very different you know, pattern.

They're gonna behave so much more dynamic.

It's gonna be so much about constant innovation and reinvention.

So it's not from one monolithic thing to the next, it's from this thing that.

Was more centralized or more solid to something that's gonna look so much more distributed and more dynamic.

And so you're standing in this space in between, but what I loved is when you tell me the way that you share it with teams and you literally physically like, put your backup where you're trying to like, hold, push, you know,

hold it together like the old system, right?

So if you wanna walk me through that.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Yeah, generally when I'm on a stage or doing my work, I'll have slides and so I'll put your exact image from the book Leadering and I'll

just be a little bit, you know, obnoxious in my V view.

But it's to prove a point where I'll push against

the hill that looks like the old systems.

Because what I

want people to see visually is that if you are pushing to try to uphold the old things, you don't want that avalanche of rocks to fall down of the old way.

I tell them, where's my back?

And the audience will say to the future, and so I talk about our limited resources, our limited energy.

And so if we are so focused on trying to not let the old way die, we're not gonna be able to participate in the creation of the future, which is your message.

And just to show that visual is what I was sharing with you.

Yeah.

But I think that was actually really eyeopening for me too, because you forget, right?

We're so focused on trying to hold onto, or navigate or just prepare for the falling rocks, right?

All the stuff that's breaking apart.

And to your point, then that doesn't allow us to turn around and be able.

Better prepared.

And the whole purpose of this podcast is to help parents who feel overwhelmed by that.

Like we all get it right.

The expectations of parenting only become more daunting every year.

I think I think it's a, again, we put a lot on parent shoulders to try and help our kids stay safe and sane through so much change.

And ourselves as we're trying to also navigate it and have quote the answers for everybody.

There's very few patterns that we can look to in the past that we think are gonna have the answers for the future.

So we're in this moment, again, of the liminal gap, right?

The shift between the two.

And you can look at it as a loss of something, or you can think about it as the invitation and the threshold or the thing that is new.

when you imagine again, the liminal gap as a, you know, in the grand scheme of it all, and we start to imagine then, okay, what it feels like to be a parent in this moment in time, or a young adult in this moment in time, or a teenager in this moment in time.

Like how do we help them make sense of the liminal gap?

Right?

What are the some of the tools and some of the language, some of the thinking?

So one of the questions I have, 'cause one of the things I'm really aware of is that my kids are significantly older than.

Generation of children now that people are parenting, right?

Mine are all in their young twenties.

Still have some of the same questions.

But as you think about it through the lens of someone who is parenting an 8-year-old, what are some of the key questions that are either on your mind or on the minds of the parents that you guys, you know, are in conversation with?

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Yeah, so both as a parent and as a professional.

I similar to the liminal gap, but I feel like we're in the great composting is what I think about.

So those systems are breaking down, but what we do with that matters.

And so how do we take that right and literally compost it.

So we're growing.

From things, not just like taking those pieces that crumbled and trying to rebuild again.

What wasn't fully working?

'cause the reason it's crumbling is, well, technology or we're learning more the conversations that I'm having with friends and parents who are parents the things at school with my senior leaders and organizations who are also parents at different ages.

The deepest conversations we've ever had.

There's, speaking of composting, more people now than ever are aware of mental health, are aware of therapy, are aware of things like generational trauma.

And as an organizational coach, I will tell you, institutions have.

Handed down trauma too, and patterns.

And so a lot of parents and leaders are starting to wonder, what did I inherit that is worth keeping and what do I need to compost to build something new?

And that is a theme I keep hearing and seeing across like the parenting landscape and the business landscape.

There has to be a lot of compassion because we aren't sure yet.

We're figuring this out.

It's

it's

hard.

So the composting though my understanding of like compost, right, is you acknowledge the stuff has broken down and then you've got sort of the messier and you're letting it then, you know, ferment and
create the nutrients and breakdowns of all those things are, people are already there in the composting stage or they still in the, can't believe that this thing is broken down and are still trying to like.

You know, patch it together, hope that it stays where we are.

Like, I guess I'm trying to think of if you're a parent of a young child, are you optimistic about what the opportunities are?

Are you really and mourning about things that

Hold anymore?

Dr. Katie Pritchett: I love that question.

And the only way I can answer it is like a, it depends.

I think a lot has to do with your worldview.

I think a lot has to do with, do you believe that you have a role in this world where you can co-create and you can be a, be the change you wish to see in the world?

For those people, which is more of my inner circle, we believe that it is incumbent upon us to.

Process our own pain and grief and do something about it in any small way possible.

There are other people where and you know, you're familiar with the stages of grief, right?

And so in all fairness, without judgment, there are some people who still need to be in that stage of shock and denial of the grief cycle, because I wonder.

I don't know for sure, but I wonder to what extent their worldview was that safety meant static.

Are you following?

Totally.

Yeah.

And I think that, you know, I mean, I'm unusually wired for new.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Well, that's why it's hard because you're we are similarly, like I'm like, who moved my cheese?

Me?

I'm moving that cheese.

But I also say, because I also grew up in a lot of chaos, and so for me, chaos, actually for Tim, if you wanna get really even your personal about this, actually felt more familiar than static did.

Like calm and static does not actually feel that great.

It's taken me a long time to fully appreciate how important those things are because I was always like trying to blow things up and change things up and make things, you know, somehow different.

So the good news, I guess, is I was well wired.

For walking into a world of this much change, right.

For me, security is not having it be the same way every day or every month, or the way my grandparents did it, because for me, that actually represented probably more danger than security.

But I do think it's interesting as we move into this world right now, I think what I'm hearing you say is how much more important is that parents are spending time thinking about their internal story.

Right, and how they are recognizing how change is impacting them, so then they can be better stewards and better guides for their children that are going through this.

Is that fair?

Dr. Katie Pritchett: That is fair.

And what's so interesting is because we know there's no playbook right now for, because it's happening so fast, you could hop on any AI bot and ask it what you should do.

In the same way you could phone a friend in the same way in the olden days.

You know, you like the phone a friend idea, but I think what we're starting to understand is how much wisdom and data is existing in our own bodies.

And the fast paced, capitalistic, patriarchal society keeps us busy.

In that busyness, we don't get to access the most important data source, which is our body.

And so what I think is starting to happen in a lot of circles is this idea of tapping in, how am I feeling?

How do I slow down?

Because the way I show up is gonna ripple out.

And we know that at home.

I know if I'm dysregulated, my response to my son is gonna be not the actual parent I wanna be.

I won't be acting in alignment.

So that's what I'm really seeing that awareness of the internal state really does mirror the external

state.

Well, and so much more thoughtful around that because I think even in my generation of parents, we weren't that connected to the inside and the outside and looking at those things.

I mean, there's a certain amount of, hopefully, you know, the old, have you loved your inner child and taking care of them.

So you are, you know, certainly heaping more

trauma on child, but certainly not.

You know.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Yeah, it, these are, and this is the hard stuff, like this is not easy.

The human mind is very complex.

The human mind, not only can it, can I hide something from you, I can hide something from myself.

So these are the hard conversations and what I also know is exhausting parents.

Is I had a moment before we logged on.

Let me be very honest and candid.

I had this moment where like my heart dropped because I finally remembered this afternoon that my son was supposed to wear orange today.

Orange for anti-bullying.

Does my family care about anti-bullying?

Yes.

We drive to school every day and we say our family is kind, honest and has growth mindset.

But guess what, Nancy?

I'm 99% sure he is an orange shirt today.

And so how do you keep up with silly sock day and funny hat day and then like, oh, by the way, the world as we know it from our political systems, our social systems and our technological systems.

Crumbling.

Like that's a wild paradox to

hold

And and then we're also, again, we're so hard on ourselves, right?

Because at some point, you know, a, these things didn't exist when we were growing.

We had to think about much.

And partly, you know, we want our children to remind us.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: In an ideal world, yes.

And so we're.

Last time you and I had a chance

to chat, I was speaking at my alma mater and I was speaking a bunch of students that are young college women and, you know, big range of

how they feel about things and.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Absolutely.

Old parent talking to my young parent

friend to say, don't stress about the T-shirt.

He's gonna be.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: I'm not, I did exercise self-compassion.

I did.

But I will tell you just so for the parents out there who are recovering.

Perfectionist like me is I did exercise self-compassion, and I had that moment where I was like, you know what?

It's his responsibility.

And then I also go where I was a child who was parentified.

Like I had to be way more responsible and grow up way faster than I should have.

And so there's always that line.

And has the needle moved?

Has technology and our social structures changed so much that an 8-year-old needs to be more responsible than I was at 12?

So.

You know, I did pause, I exercised some self-compassion, and yet there's still an open tab in my brain of like, so what is the bright balance, you know?

yeah, and I think that will be a lifelong, you know, conversation.

I still have that with my, you know, again, I still have that with my 20 year olds that are.

Still trying to figure out jobs at home and whether or not they should give them an allowance or not give 'em allowance right at this point.

So I think that is always a question.

I will just in, you know, surface of, things.

We did put a sign up in our kitchen when our kids were growing up.

This had solved the problem yourself and I felt very strongly that my role was to be a support structure for them.

Anything you need.

From a tutor to an orange t-shirt to a tri-fold board, to software to whatever, like come to me and I will make sure that you have every resource that you can possibly have to the extent that I can, I'm able to provide it.

But I will not be checking to see what day you have a test.

I will not be checking every moment to see did you get everything of your assignment done?

I will not be, I'm here to help you quiz on anything that you would wanna be quizzed on and help me show you some things online that you can do to help make the, you know, prepare for what it is you need to go do.

But it's not my work to do your work.

And I felt pretty strongly around that because I wanted my kids to have that sense of agency and to feel that sense that they could knew how

to solve a problem.

Right.

They knew how to get there.

And I'd also say that there was one time when my son was, my oldest son was roughly the same age as Lincoln, and I forgot to pick him up from school at the right time,
or he had to wait for, I didn't forgot, but I was running late and he didn't know it was going to be whatever, 15 minutes late and he got really stressed out about it.

And when I went to my parent teacher conference the same year we'll have today, she told me that was fine.

It was good for him to learn that.

There are moments that it doesn't always work out perfectly.

You need to become more resilient.

Around it

and not to be myself up too much about it.

So I think that this is the dance we're always trying to find.

Right.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: It's, and I just had this huge download while you were talking in real time.

So what your son, just, what you just described for him was you created a liminal gap for him.

And that sign in your kitchen created a pause or a gap for them to figure out, well, what do I need and what do I ask for right now?

Maybe a smaller liminal gap, but liminal gap nonetheless.

And so what I'm real, what I'm curious about is with technology moving so fast and the automation of things, is that going to replace that social emotional.

Growth.

For children, or like if they're, if the problem solving is like, let me go straight to AI and have it solve it for me.

How do we build the repetition, the re the ability to have you know, those reps? It's like any athlete knows it takes reps. And so, I don't know.

I'm just I'm now starting to think about that.

Like, essentially what you and I did was we had several liminal gaps throughout life that we had to learn to navigate.

And I think that's a really great question.

'cause I will say my 23-year-old daughter, like is Chatt, is her bestie, Right.

She goes to that for every single question.

And so there's No.

trouble solve the problem yourself solving a problem with your ai.

And that is a really great question.

I think that she probably feels more empowered rather than less empowered because she knows that there's a source that she can go to.

And what she's trying to really learn now is why use critical thinking around that.

Like, do you trust every answer that you get?

Do you look at it from different angles?

Do you you know, let it do the work for you, quote unquote, as opposed to bringing your own judgment to it?

Like, I think that's the literacy that they're learning and bringing to it.

I do think that on some level, the hope is that it makes kids feel somewhat more prepared.

On the other side of it is that it then becomes, you know, potentially a para parent in many

ways, right?

They're gonna.

Which I think,

and you know, so again, teaching our kids at this moment in time, I think there's a really beautiful moment where Lincoln is, where you're, he's not, you know, fully gadget up yet
and doesn't have access to all of the things yet, and so you get to teach how to do this responsibly moving into the future that he's going to be so embedded in and which, you know.

I think a lot about the babies are gonna have the smart baby monitors.

They keep talking about that.

They're gonna respond to them in real time.

Versus the kids who are like jumping into cha GBT to solve all of their work because they're finding it to be this like magic genie of answers.

And Lincoln's in this wonderful, you know, spot in between where he will it won't be surrounding him, but he'll learn to become hopefully a really responsible and intelligent user or co-creator.

With these tools and these talents, I think that what scares me and you and I talked about this a little bit offline, is again, when
you have a pair of social relationship with an AI companion and you start to imagine that it has answers that You don't have and.

Right.

And how do we as parents become really aware of that?

We're gonna have a whole separate episode on that as well, because I think it really deserves a much longer conversation about what can be regulated, what can't be regulated conversations that parents have with their children.

Do they even know that they're having these conversations with an AI in whatever the form is?

We only think about chatt vt, but there,

are many other companies that.

There to create an avatar type, you know, relationship that's learning your child in to want to be able to do that.

And, you know, and every round of a new large language model has capacity or not capacity to invite or not invite that.

And so keeping up with that, even if you think chat TBT was safe, you know, three months ago may not be the same, you know, two days ago,

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Yeah, it changes

stay on top of that I think is.

A really key thing.

So I go back to when you're dealing with adults and leaders inside organizations, right?

How are they coping with this much change, and what are some of the tools you're bringing to them?

Dr. Katie Pritchett: So I'm glad you asked that because one of the tools that works professionally and personally is this KPI method that I've.

Coined and it is the k Well, you know what KPIs are, right?

Like key performance indicators is a,

But on all, not everyone listening might be a

business

Dr. Katie Pritchett: why

business is.

Oh, okay.

In business, thank you.

In business organizations will refer to building KPIs.

The things that will help them to understand if they've got their key performance indicators, KPI, key performance indicators, which helps them to understand are they on track to meet their larger goals.

What I've come to understand is that a lot of times we know that for big projects, we know that for big initiatives or, you know.

Projects essentially.

But when it comes to our own wellbeing or it comes to our own evolution, or, you know, you wanna show up differently as a leader or a parent, then you can also have

your

And I'll just say that KPI is also

Dr. Katie Pritchett: to know you're on track.

it's pun is not the right word.

What is it?

A it also stands for Katie PRI Industries.

So.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Oh, Katie, Bridget, impact.

Yeah, I did have a former client who said that, yeah, you brought the Katie Prichart impact.

Yes.

I can really get into an acronym.

And the way that I break down the KPI in that regard is the K stands for, no, the P stands for prepare and the I stands for impact.

And so when you said.

instead of going to you, your kid might be going to ai.

Honestly, I'm more worried that for Lincoln, not him not bringing the questions to me, 'cause there's teenagers, adult, you know, they, they pause before they go to their parents.

What I'm more concerned about, does he go to himself?

He outsourcing everything.

So the K in the KPI framework is just know how you're feeling in your body right now.

Like we had mentioned, your body's full of intelligence.

The body keeps the score, trauma gets scored, stored in different places.

So a tense shoulder for you might mean something different than a tense shoulder attention in my jaw for me.

But generally speaking, it means something for me.

So the K is just like, no know how you're feeling, just pause, name that emotion, name the sensation.

Just know that Then the P is like is to prepare.

It means that, okay, well let's take breaths together.

Let's prepare to have a response that is in alignment with who I know.

I really am back to the K, and then we prepare.

And in that P, another P is just like the pause, just.

Breathe.

And that's what I'm afraid of is that they're just gonna go to the AI bot to make the solving.

And we talked about that.

That's almost like cur, purposely creating their liminal gap.

And then the eye is the impact.

Like what impact do you wanna have?

What decision what?

What is the next right action in alignment with the impact, the outcome you really want.

And so that KPI framework works for leaders who are conflict avoidant.

Leaders who are

conditioned

to people please, leaders who are quick to be overbearing and make the decision on their own or not delegate.

That KPI framework works the same as it does with my 8-year-old.

So there's this,

when we did it at home.

Yes, actually so this was bowling.

It wasn't in our home, but Lincoln we were bowling recently and he missed, he is, he's hard on himself.

I wonder where he got that from.

And he missed.

He missed a few pins.

He wanted a bowl without bumpers and he was really frustrated and I think he was gonna grab a bowling ball and slam it down.

You know who wouldn't know?

Wouldn't that feel so good?

And then he caught himself and shout out to his, not only is he getting this at home, thankfully his school counselors also doing this, but he got so frustrated and then I saw him pause.

This is a moment Nancy, where like, I should be, I'm gonna break out my tissues.

He paused in the bowling alley.

He put the ball down, he put his hands on his chest.

He sat down.

He took a few deep breaths, and he looks

back

at

Yay.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: and he's like, okay, I'm gonna try to throw it down the middle.

And then gets up, grabs his orange ball, and then throws it mostly down the middle.

And he hit about seven pins.

It was like wild for me to watch that happen in real time.

Now he's eight.

This isn't a consistent practice, but what's so cool is he knew in his body he was pissed.

He wanted to throw that ball on the ground.

He stopped, he paused and he prepared, okay, I don't wanna throw the ball on the ground, I wanna hit the pins.

So he stopped.

He did some breathing, which is a big part of the pause.

And then he was like, he even voiced it over.

I want to throw the ball down the middle so he gets up and he takes the next best action to get it down the middle.

There are little moments of golden moments

But I think those are the

things That give us hope, right?

That this next generation will be better

prepared.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: you know, we did talk a little bit more about like, AI and things are harder

and

we don't know where they're going.

And I

wanna say I am cautiously optimistic.

I do see, like I mentioned, parents and friends in our circle doing

their work, wanting to interrupt patterns and cycles, wanting to be different.

And so my hope

is back to that liminal gap.

If we don't have our backs to the future, then we can participate in helping to build technology that will ask

students and children to pause or building communities that help.

Incubate children before their

access to

technology rewires their brain.

So we have choices and that is where

My hope comes from.

But you are more optimistic, I think, and I think that can what makes, what keeps you

optimistic?

I did a workshop or a panel recently.

I.

And so

I

think that the part of embodied is not only that you see the signals, right, but it's also about just trusting that the things that are coming through and the feelings that you
have about some things, and then hopefully checking in again, all the various places that you take in information and checking more than others are things you truly believe or not.

But I thought it was really fascinating to see a woman in her.

Certainly like mid sixties, a very established, very corporate woman talking so much about intuition,

Dr. Katie Pritchett: I love that.

And you know, children have really deep intuition too, like Lincoln.

Knows generally what's right or wrong.

He needs guidance, acting in alignment.

The other thing about embodiment that I do wanna make sure we cover and then you'll tell me why you stay optimistic is the saying you'll hear me say over and over again in every platform I'm in, is that leadership isn't rocket science, but it is neuroscience.

And by that I mean our brain is an efficient processing machine and it wants to create shortcuts.

So those shortcuts get imprinted when we're little.

If I. If I stay small and act perfect and don't make a sound, I will stay safe.

That was one for me.

And growing up, unfortunately with an abusive parent, like we get those shortcuts get embedded very early and our brain likes to have shortcuts because then it's a program, it can run, it's cheaper and faster, and it's a more efficient operating machine than.

Right?

Yeah.

And like having to have a response from scratch.

It's like, oh, I have a response for that.

Stay small, be perfect.

And but those patterns, those shortcuts, while they served a purpose at one point, they don't serve you in your next iteration.

We've gone through a liminal gap.

We've gone through change As an adult, you know, what kept you?

Another saying at what kept you safe as a child might be keeping you small as an adult.

And so I, you know, all these sayings and but ultimately the embodiment, we can feel it.

So if we pause and give ourselves, let our brains catch up with the way our body feels.

We can usually

access that intelligence.

That's that embodiment is allowing the nervous system to calm down enough where you can access that intuition, that

intelligence.

The children masked.

They had, they closed, not

just closed their

eyes, but they

literally had a blindfold on every child.

And then they had a teacher up at the whiteboard and she drew a very simple

tree, right?

Just the trunk.

And then they're like curly top of the tree.

And she had children with a sheet of paper and a marker, basically draw what they felt like she was drawing and they then unmask the children.

Every single one of 'em, Katie

had

drawn what was the teacher had drawn on the board

without being

able to see it, they could just feel it.

So intuition is not only also just an individual thing, right?

It is a collective.

Energy thing.

This goes back to what we were talking before about being able to pick up signals and cues from the things that are going on around you.

And so I think that part of what the hope is again, for this conversation that we're gonna have in all these podcasts is that we can try and bring down the hysteria and we can bring down the fear.

We can actually really have access.

It feels good.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Oh

yes, the noise, the inflammation.

Yeah.

Oh, you just hit on a topic that I would be invited back to talk about, which is like.

Collective energy and telepathy.

So you just opened a little can of worms there, but yes,

Well, because I think that when we start talking about capacity for the future,

that's a big one that's lying dormant.

And So instead of trying to compete with them.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: same.

Oh.

Julie Mobridge who is, you know, working literally on the telepathy tapes and thinks about precognition as very much a

science and helping us better prepare for the future.

So there's lots and lots of growing

conversation around that.

So I think just to simplify it for today, right, I think letting encouraging our children to hear that voice, to feel that voice and to be able to create an energy around them that they can trust because I think that they feel the energy regardless.

And whether or not they feel as though they are safe in it is really the key to being able to then I think, to walk in it.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Are they safe in it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I'll tell you, Nancy, leaders are wondering the same thing.

Organizations, am I still safe at work with this new technology?

How do I operate in here?

Like there it's a, the parallels are just endless.

Yes.

How do you create safety for yourself?

And that has a lot to do with embodiment.

How do I get back to me

And

my touchstone and my safety of embodiment.

Yeah.

And big feelers in organizations moving fast.

And transforming is another really great topic 'cause after all we are all energy and change and chaos creates more energy.

Okay.

Right.

Well, so this is a good transition to what it is that I feel optimistic about, but I also need to

be aware of.

So I do walk

through the world feeling very hopeful.

I have been in change

management for

decades And found it really hard for organizations, for people to think about the things that they need to do differently.

And now this disruption, again, that breakdown that we talked about from the beginning is now creating all of us to look at these things.

So there will not be an organization or an industry or a You know, whatever a job on the planet that will not be somehow transitioned, but the combination of technology, economics, and sustainability.

So somehow those things are going to put pressure on every single thing is gonna be redesigned.

We see education going through it right now.

We see finance, we see manufacturing, we see all of it like beauty you know, governance, all of it.

So for me, it's an exciting time to re-pattern the future.

We've learned a lot about what works and what doesn't work, who should be included, you know, hopefully everyone, not just some.

And so we have a chance to do it differently.

So I'm on the, you know, the preaching circuit for, we have this huge opportunity to re-pattern the future.

We can be more aware of what it is that we're designing for.

We put humanity and humaneness in the center of it instead of on the outside of it.

And we can create tremendous outcomes right now.

Cut to.

I had been traveling for the last few weeks.

I have not been in Austin.

I came back late on Friday night and I was chatting with my 25-year-old son who had just started a great new job.

And I was thinking like I was just having like this, just so full of hope and optimism, right?

For him and his future and whatever.

And as we're sitting in the car, we get back into the house, that kind of cozy part where you sit in the car before you go into the house.

And he started talking to me about his existential dread and fear of what's happening in politically.

Certainly in the United States right now, and his sense of safety, or not safety.

Now we're in Texas, we're in Austin.

There's a lot going on right here.

But I describe him as my antenna to the world.

Like he is the most, you know, sensitive.

All three of my children are but he in particular, he has literally the lightning rod that feels at all when it's happening around him.

He's feeling this incredible sense of fear around it.

And even though his life feels great and better than it, you know, he could have imagined that it would be even six months ago.

He's feeling it all around him and I immediately start going into my, oh, but you're just listening to the wrong things now.

It's so optimistic.

And I did my whole like, you know, don't be down.

And by Monday we had a conversation about the fact that he didn't feel very well held during that conversation that he wished that I had been
able to understand, or at least acknowledge and validate how intense those feelings are for him right now and not immediately try and logic him.

Out of it, my list of reasons why you should be so optimistic or here's the kind of places that I look

for insight and information, and I do think I'm advantaged as a woman because I do feel that intuition side, I feel that sense of the feminine.

I feel the regenerative, like there's so much that's really fertile that's happening that I

think is really pointing to an extraordinary future that I don't know that every young man has access to.

Right now.

Right.

I was also trying to figure out how to get bridge that gap, but it made me pause back to your point around yes, I carry tremendous hope.

Yes, I carry tremendous optimism.

Yes.

I really do believe that.

We all have a sense of you know, responsibility to go build a future that we want to build.

And this is not happening to us.

it.

is us, and we should be thinking every day about what kind of future we want to have, but I felt very also sad.

That someone who's grown up in my house as close to me as my mini me, like he's as close to my work as, you know, any of my three are.

Was I shouldn't say this, letting the world kind of get to him, but that he had he was feeling so strongly the sense of decay and loss and fear

around that.

As we're seeing the news

headlines right now.

So I am trying to be.

Thoughtful in both directions.

I think it's okay that you hold somebody who's feeling that and that they don't feel alone in that because there's nothing that feels worse, that you can feel all the pain and you don't think anyone around you else is seeing it.

And I've gone through those periods of my life too.

And I wanna be surrounded by people who can feel it.

And I've gone through grief work and grief circles and all these kinds of things, which is probably why I can be as optimistic as I am again now.

I feel like I've had a chance to process the

Dr. Katie Pritchett: a beautiful story.

I really appreciate you sharing that with me.

And I had the honor

of meeting your son, well, all three of your children.

And I can see that unfolding and it reminds me of the Maya Angelou quote that like, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

And so in that moment, he still had that childlike desire to be cared for.

And so that's like, oh, that like punches me in my mama gut.

So hard.

Totally.

Oh, believe me, it wasn't, it was not a great conversation people to have, you know?

But I think, again, trying to

be, but this goes back to your

like not trying to take it super personally or not thinking that I then had failed as.

Mother or

you, this goes back to, you know, orange shirt becomes, someone always said like, small children, small

problems,

big children, big problems.

I don't know that it's necessarily the case, but you do, you know, feel the

intensity of like, that you go through the last 25 years of the times that I had or

hadn't been

there for him and the way that he thought that he, you know, wanted to be held.

And compassion back to what you were saying before about trusting that we are there for them in the most positive ways as often as we can be and that we're learning some of these things ourselves.

And that again, for me.

Being optimistic, which my oldest son will tell me is my survival skill.

If I didn't have it, I would crumble.

And that I have built this outlook so that

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Exactly.

Yes.

I was gonna say, it kind of reminds me back to that KPI thing.

So if we could just role play real quick for everyone listening, so if we'll just diagnose back backwards, but it's like you and your body the feeling that you probably were having were like exactly what you just said.

Oh my God, did I fail him?

Did I, whatever.

So, so with love, Nancy, that was like your shit to own right.

And then, but if you, and paused and prepare.

And so to prepare your message for him is like, oh, I can be sovereign in my optimism while he's having his existential dread.

I'm safe being this.

And while He does that so then, and what he then what he probably

needs right now is to feel health.

So then the impact I wanna

have

is

to say like, that must be so hard right now.

When you're ready, I'd love to share with you why I stay optimistic, but right now, that's not gonna land for you because whatever, right now

I'm acknowledging,

wait, what?

Right, which is exactly what he said verbatim.

He wished that

Dr. Katie Pritchett: and you know, I wanna make, as a friend,

he said

Dr. Katie Pritchett: not judging you.

How many times do I wish I could go

back and replay

something with my son?

But it is just really important to realize, like with things moving so

fast, with so much disruption, it is gonna upset us in our bodies.

and then like that pause of like, okay, what is upsetting me?

What's mine to own?

That practice is.

Because I think it's also really scary.

I'll just back up and say one other thing, which is in the moment where I think that he told where sort, where I thought you were going in the moment where he first told me that's that how he was feeling when we were in the car.

Your, the big mama comes in and wants to like protect your child, right?

The last thing you want is your child to feel so scared and especially if you don't

share the quite where he is.

Or I've gone through the gauntlet of

that and what I wish that is.

I knew.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: I know.

Box, it will all be over soon.

That was how she was walking through the world.

Right.

And not meaning like I think that she was gonna take agency to go do something, but you know, I think she just felt in general somehow was all gonna

collapse and that she was waiting.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Nancy, your model, your riff model is like the most simplistic, science-backed,

easy to use, and yet powerful

tool for any human on the planet.

I just wanna, I have used.

Teams and people

and things.

'cause I think it's a longer conversation to have, but to your point, helping people just pull apart people

have helped me.

Right.

Various, you know,

Somatic or spiritual teachers.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: And that's the beauty of humanity is like we are able to hold complex, paradoxical things.

So.

Right.

Correct.

Yes,

correct.

And then feel, to your point around better prepared, which I.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: All children.

Especially with me at my alma mater.

Like those are,

you know, I feel just as responsible to them.

A feeling as though that the, you know, they feel better prepared and well held and into this change that we're heading into that I think can actually be really phenomenal.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Well said and good summary.

No, I just wanna thank you and I wanna thank you for this critical podcast.

I think this is gonna be something I appreciate being on as a

guest, but I promise I'll be consuming because I wanna learn, I wanna feel connected to others who are navigating this, and

I think you have so much to share.

And so thank you.

Thank you for being one of my Pinker people.

I need to know.

Doing the work,

right?

There's, I learn something every single week from a group or organization that I talk to, or a parent who comes up to me afterwards or anybody that's in it.

And so the good news, we'll keep learning together.

So thanks babe.

Dr. Katie Pritchett: Thank you.

Big hugs.